Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
