apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
