is your mom at the bar?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
