His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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