Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
