She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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