I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
