Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize