only you would photoshop your dick
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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