if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize