Betty ford says i'm here all night
Say something about gay babies.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
