please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
