I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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