What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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