Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just forgot I was standing up.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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