dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
why do cheetos always look like penises
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize