i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
