getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
