when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
bring money and cleavage
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
