i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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