real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
