if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Randomize
