Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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