she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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