went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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