Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize