Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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