she looked like the before picture.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
