Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
