More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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