the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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