I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
