You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
