I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
