I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
