Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
