I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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