There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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