How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize