Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
