you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize