i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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