One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think i got beer on your cat.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
