Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
