Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
