I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
