STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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