I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
nutella sex= disaster
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
