I love black thongs
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Shitshow foam night was such a success
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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