Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
