that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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