I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize