The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
