I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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