just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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