I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
