I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
