whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
