Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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