winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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