Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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