We're like a lot better than the average bears
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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