I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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